Reyzer's Pro Class Guide

[thecakeboss]

Tired of having absolutely no success with your current loadouts? Want to be an MLG professional gamer in which your enemies shall tremble in fear with the first sight of your name? Well, ladies and germs, look no further! If you didn't know already, my name is Reyzers, aka DA CAKE BAWSS, and I'm going to show you loadouts that will lead to your success in GCI and in life. Enjoy!

This first class is basically a typical sniper class I run all the time. I average about 5 kills, 200+ deaths with it, so I personally think it's the best sniper class in the entire game, so take a look:

Build Name: Build #3493

• Ready Weapon: Bear-stalker
• -Mod: Body Odor Sniffer
• Backup Weapon: Kingmaker
• -Mod: Iron Sights
• Support Item: Body Armor
• Gadget: Spring Boots
• Body Type: Speedy
• Fun Fact #1: Nimble Fingers
• Fun Fact #2: Wooden Legs
• Rampage: Death Racer
• Psych Profile: Histrionic

View Build #3493

So, you got your Bear Stalker with BO Sniffer in order to see your opponents easily due to them smelling like burnt skunk-*** on a harbor pier on a hot summers day, then you got the Kingmaker with Iron Sights because every other attachment for it sucks nuts for this loadout. Then you have Body Armor so you're basically RoboCop fused with Robin Hood, and Spring Boots so you can jump higher than Michael Jordan on meth. The body type is Speedy, due to him having the speed of Usain Bolt. The Fun Facts are important, too. The first one being Nimble Fingers because, well, think about it. Wouldn't every man want the smooth, soft hands of a Nimble? Mmmmmmm. The second Fun Fact is Wooden Legs, because b*tches love double peg-legs. Also, you won't die from landing on the ground with Spring Boots. The Rampage is Death Racer because it has the best name, and Histrionic for the Psych Profile because you are guaranteed to finish top 3 in every game you play.

This next loadout is a rushing class that deals massive damage and it's also for those who have dreamed to be a bunny rabbit the size of Fudgie the Whale:

Build Name: Build #3495

• Ready Weapon: Kingmaker
• -Mod: Penetrator Ammo
• Backup Weapon: Motivator
• -Mod: None
• Support Item: Shuriken
• Gadget: Spring Boots
• Body Type: Mighty
• Fun Fact #1: Quick Reflexes
• Fun Fact #2: Wooden Legs
• Rampage: Death Racer
• Psych Profile: Sadistic

View Build #3495

Your weapon is the Kingmaker with Penetrator rounds so you can easily kill enemy RoboCops, the Motivator so you can alert everyone in the area of a morbidly obese meteor crash landing in the map. Use Shurikens so you can be Shinobi, Spring Boots, which is the essential item in this loadout, DO NOT forget them at ALL TIMES, or this loadout will suck! Mighty because you obviously have to weigh more than 350 pounds for this class to work, Quick Reflexes so you can throw all of your Shurikens before your enemy takes a single breath, Wooden Legs so you don't break your real legs, Death Racer, just because, and finally Sadistic Psych Profile because this class will f*ck people up.

This final loadout is a defender loadout that will keep your opponent from scoring and will keep you climbing up the leaderboards. It also has a trump card: a third weapon which will be explained later:

Build Name: Build #3498

• Ready Weapon: Bombardier
• -Mod: Bouncy Grenade
• Backup Weapon: Bear-stalker
• -Mod: 4x Scope Lens
• Support Item: Toxic Gas
• Gadget: Grapple Gun
• Body Type: Speedy
• Fun Fact #1: Possum Player
• Fun Fact #2: Leathery
• Rampage: Death Racer
• Psych Profile: Antisocial

View Build #3498

Your primary is the Bombardier with Bouncy Grenades so you can pull off sick off-the-wall no scopes, Bear Stalker because a man who brings a bow and arrow to a gun fight always wins. Toxic Gas so you can have yourself a full-course meal during your spawn camping, Grapple Gun, which is the third weapon trump card mentioned earlier, can get you out of a tight bind when needed most. Speedy so you have the speed of a cheetah man, Possum Player so can trick your opponents into thinking they got a kill off you, Leathery to replace your skin with cow leather. Rampage stays the same and as for the Psych Profile, I put Antisocial so who the f*ck cares, right?

So that's about it! With these loadouts at your disposal, you are guaranteed to average 500-1000 kills per year, and you will become the best GCI player known to mankind. Thanks for reading, everybody!

tl;dr version: This is a guide with really good classes. Use them, and success is guaranteed.

Protip: This is a troll guide, it's not meant to be taken seriously.

[Nelby2388]

I used these classes and almost doubled my k/d ratio!